The McMonkeys

Happy 4th!

2011-07-03T23:38:00.000-06:00

Don't worry. This isn't some sneaky way of saying that the politically "left" are somehow patriotically backwards.

Or is it?

Just kidding. Go light some fireworks, 'cause here in Texas.... we can't.

Gaston

2011-06-26T19:48:00.000-06:00

Bradley joined a local acting company earlier this year. He loved the weekly practices, but he was not very excited about the idea of performing in front of people.

So I lied to him.

I told him that when the time came, if he didn't want to, he wouldn't have to - someone else could fill in for him. Luckily, he didn't call my bluff.

They were putting on a production of Beauty & the Beast. The set was awesome, the costumes were great, and they had live music. It was actually pretty impressive.

Bradley with Mimi L*. She played La Fou - Gaston's little sidekick

What was even more impressive is that I learned something about Bradley. He's much braver than I am. And, that kid can sing! I had no idea he could project like that and stay on pitch. He even carried a vibrato. Proud Mama.

Suprise!

2011-06-24T19:48:00.000-06:00

We showed up to the pool on Memorial Day to play with friends when these three found each other.

L to R: Izzy B*, Lindsey M*, & Miss Liv

They were very excited.

Excuse Me While I Discipline Your Child

2011-06-13T22:11:00.000-06:00

I was at the park recently when this "adorable" little monster was terrorizing other kids. Let's call him Henry ('cause that's what his mom calls him and I don't feel like protecting the privacy of lunatics). Picture this character as you read. Cynicism brings out the blogger in me.

My repressed thoughts will be in italics for your enjoyment.

Me: Ma'am, your son just punched my child. I will hit him if he does it again. Then I will hit you.
Henry's Dumb Mom: Boys will be boys (with that really stupid grin on her face).

5 minutes later...

Me: Your son is spitting on my daughter and her friends. I'm going to kneel on his chest, reach into his mouth and rip out his salivary glands all while you watch.
Henry's Dumb Mom: Oh, that's just his way of sharing (head tilted watching Henry with unconditional love).

3 minutes later...

Me: Your (obnoxious) child is hitting that adult. You really ought to do something.
Henry's Dumb Mother: (To me:) We don't like to say, "NO" to our son. Of course you don't. (To Henry:) Henry, honey. Stop, please. Should we go to the car? I'm going to count to three. Do you want to go into time out? Really let's stop. One... Two... We'll have to go home. I don't think that nice man likes that. Do you need to sit in the naughty chair? I'll give you a big hug if you can obey me. Show mommy how a big boy listens. One... Two.... Henry, be a good boy. Ooopsies, let's not throw rocks at him. One... Two... Do you want me to tell Daddy? I'm not going to let you have a treat when we get home.

REALLY? MAYBE YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM ONE MORE WARNING BEFORE I BEAT YOU; THEN HIM!

I have this vision of their future Christmas Card. I can't wait.

Have you ever wanted to deck another parent?

...for becoming a parent?

Baby Claire

2011-06-08T21:18:00.000-06:00

My blog and I were on a trial separation.

It didn't go well.

While we were living apart, I had a baby.

Good times.

Meet Miss Claire Brighton

She was big. She is beautiful. We had our ups and downs in the beginning, but she sleeps 10 hours at night. I'm that woman other mothers hate. It's such a great feeling.

Once Again... if you want

2011-01-25T08:24:00.000-06:00

My last post was October 28th? Really? That's pretty bad considering I was posting every 2-3 days for a while.

Sorry I'm a slacker.

I know New Year Resolutions have already come (and most likely gone), but I'm still getting "contest" quandries.

If you aren't aware of "the contest," you're probably better off and should move on to the next blog. It will consume your life for the next 12 weeks.

Email me for details because rules have changed or at least been tweaked. We'll start in February so let me know ASAP if you're interested.

mickmonkeys[at]gmail[dot]com

If you want a rough idea of how it all began, go here.

Star of the Week

2010-10-28T07:23:00.012-06:00

Emmy has decided to be called Amelia this year at school. While it shouldn't be, it's been an interesting challenge for us to call her her given name. She now easily answers to either name, but I dont' know why I have such a hard time calling her Amelia.

A few weeks ago, she was her class' STAR OF THE WEEK. She completed an about-me poster. I thought I'd share my favorite of section of her poster.

Yes, this is an announcement.

The Return of Super Saturday

2010-10-24T08:06:00.002-06:00

Only Mormons will truly understand this one...

I was recently put in charge of our monthly Relief Society Meetings. We all like to refer to it as the "calling formerly known as Prince" because the name for this meeting has changed about as many times as his has.

Anyway, I was sadly informed that we could no longer hold Super Saturdays (a day devoted to craft-making) - a beloved, yearly tradition among Relief Society members. This cancellation was because as a world-wide church, we were no longer able to hold meetings where money was requested for any sort of good or service.

I figured it was simply because women lacked cash. So I purchased a VISA card machine and began charging women for the crafts we were doing as they exited the building each Sunday. When the bishop pulled me aside to explain that debt and social pressures was what we were trying to avoid, I looked at him knowingly and said,

"Don't worry, Bish. You can use it for collecting tithing, too."

He didn't think that was very funny.

Oh, Mama!

2010-10-21T15:03:00.000-06:00

I opened my garage the other morning and as I walked around the back of my car I saw something that made me scream out some obsenity like, "Jehosephat!"or maybe shorter, ...like with only 4 letters in it.

Geh.

Perfect pre-Halloween post.

Crazy Eyes

2010-09-11T10:41:00.000-06:00

They say a person's eyes are a window to the soul.

I don't know who "they" are. But I do know that every picture I see of this woman gives me the creeps. I know Paula Deen (okay - not personally or anything), but I've watched her cooking show and I love that she uses real butter and takes spatula-size samples to tastse. But good grief, every picture I've seen of her lately makes me wonder: are those really tomatoes she's cutting?

Have you ever been told to "smile with your eyes"? She's told, "show me anger and hatred with your eyes and only smile with your mouth."

I can hear the slashing noises from the movie Psycho.

This month she's on the cover of some magazine.
I think they just keep getting worse.

Sid the Science Kid

2010-09-04T09:36:00.002-06:00

There's this cartoon on our local PBS. It's supposed to teach kids about science-y things. Let me just break down this cartoon for you:

Sid, the main character has 3 friends at a private/charter school where HE decides and tells the teacher what is going to be learned that day. Problem one.
His teacher, Suzie, has recently lost her job as a lounge singer and subjects her 4 students to her singing at least once a day.
Sid's mother drops him off and has symptoms of a UTI at this point everyday. You typically don't see her again the remainder of the episode. She apparently works 80 hour weeks to support her husband's plaid flannel and suspender needs.
His Grandmother, who is obviously special needs and legally blind (check out the glasses), drives him (who knows how she got a license) home everyday. Seems dangerous, right? It most likely is. What's dangerous is her psychotic laugh. I'm pretty sure she's possessed by hyenas.
His father and little brother are waiting for him at home and, as mentioned above, his dad hasn't discovered belts yet and is currently unemployed due to his alcoholism (you can see the visible symptoms such as the red nose and the yellowed skin from cirrhosis of the liver).

You may wonder why I'm giving this show a hard time. It's the only show my daughter refuses to sit through. Even she, a 3-year old, will watch it shaking her head with an eyebrow raised.

Oh, PBS.

Brace Yourself

2010-09-03T08:34:00.001-06:00

If you needed a close-up of B's teeth. Here it is.

Why is he so dang cute in braces? I find it rather unfair!

When I got braces, well, first of all, I was 18(!). So sad.

I felt more like this:

First Day Photos

2010-09-02T17:33:00.000-06:00

Because every mom subjects her child to the first-day-of-school picture. I might as well share them.

Even if Olivia wasn't going to school that day, she still wanted to be involved.

Always.


I'm not sure who began the whole foot-on-the-stone pose.	It cracks me up.

Jalapenos Be GROWIN'!

2010-07-26T16:36:00.000-06:00

Emmy, Eli and I planted jalapenos in June when we went to the Ranch.

They're actually surviving!

Bug Bites

2010-07-22T10:05:00.000-06:00

I have 18 mosquito bite on my right calf (that's what you get for watering your flowers at 9pm).

That doesn't count the 5 on my left leg and the three ant bites that are in an unmentionable place from sitting on a towel full of them while in my bathing suit.

I wonder if someone caught my reaction on tape. It would be pretty classic.

Left Out

2010-06-01T13:02:00.000-06:00

I was at the pool the other day when a bunch of end-of-school-year parties were taking place. I overheard a mother tell all three of her children that they couldn't have one of the treats brought by another parent because they had peanut butter in them. One of her kid's had an allergy.

"You can't have any," she said to them. "John will feel left out if you all eat some since he can't."

I see her point of view....I guess.

Because of him, they all get to experience "character building" along with their brother. If he were a quadriplegic, would she make them all take elevators and not participate in sports?

Any takers on this topic?

Beloved Duties

2010-05-25T07:39:00.002-06:00

My AC adaptor on my Mac fried a few days ago so I'm stuck blogging without pictures - not to mention I have to use this PC (my fingers get hives when I use it).

A week ago I realized I've been in my calling longer than anyone else in the ward (except the Bishop). It's been a little over 3 years. Don't get me wrong, I adore my job... it was just something I noticed.

I mentioned this to someone who has my same job in a different ward (congregation) and she chuckled. She told me she's been doing it for seven years.

What?!

Neighborhood Bully

2010-05-18T08:14:00.002-06:00

I need some advice.

We have neighbors that have two cats. One stays inside their home (I've never actually seen it), and the other [collar-less one] stays out; stays out to pick up diseases that cause it to have bald spots, eat squirrel food left out by our elderly neighbors, jump into your car if the doors open, but most despicable: to poop in my yard.

I have even found it in my house.... walking out of my BEDROOM!

I hate this cat.

A lot.

Here is my problem: WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT?

I've already asked someone at animal control. They've said they're low-staffed so they only come out on dangerous/serious animal cases. She told me I could catch it and bring it in myself, but I'd rather not touch the thing. I spent 3 hours cleaning my room after "the incident". After all, I'm allergic.

Do I go over and explain that I think it's unfair that we all have to deal with getting ringworm (yes, some kid on the street got ringworm last year) from their cat because they don't keep it inside? That I'm growing weary of flinging cat poop over the fence at their house? This conversation would seem like the neighborly thing to do.

The problem with this scenario is that they both work and I'm afraid they aren't going to do anything about the cat then things will get really awkward because

I'm going to have to kill it,
(because I will)
and then they'll know who did it.

Block parties just won't be the same after that.

So I ask you: What would you do?

Now, what if I told you it ate one of my little birds?

Here's a question: Would it change your opinion if it were a dog?

2010-05-13T11:31:00.000-06:00

We've had some friends move in with us. They're loud and smelly.

See these vents?

The one on the left is for my dryer. The one on the right is the stove's vent. (Should I clarify that they're not in the same room?). They seem to both have a cover, but the one on the right seems propped open somehow.

LEFT VENT

RIGHT VENT

We could tell birds had moved in about two months ago. We thought we'd eventually get to it (secretly hoping they'd just move out), but then about three weeks ago we heard lots of little chirping.

Eggs had hatched.

Again we hoped that they'd just find a new home until Friday when the chirping got really, really loud. I felt like an aviary was in the middle of our house. A loud aviary with a hundred hungry chirping beaks.

To fully understand this, our microwave is above our stove so the duct work is in a cupboard above the microwave. I decided to be neighborly and bang on the metal duct work and yell something like, "keep it down in there!", but I saw this....

(Those are feathers!...IN MY CUPBOARD!!!)

When I stopped hyperventilating, I texted Steven these three seperate messages:

1) The birds are IN THE HOUSE! (I wanted it to relay the same feeling as "the call is coming from inside the house"...it didn't work.)

(No response from Steven -- I gave him a full 30 seconds to respond, too!)

2) What the H am I supposed to do?!

(Still no response. It had been at least 1 min 17 sec)

3) STOP LAUGHING!

('Cause I just knew....Jerk.)

He FINALLY called (2 minutes later!) and asked me if I knew what kind of bird it was? was it the mama or the babies? were they trying to get out? Since I had only seen a bit of feathers and hadn't dared open the cupboard entirely, I took my best guess and said I thought it might be an dark gray albatross (those exist right?) or a near relation of godzilla.

When he stopped laugh/crying he told me to just wait until he got home and he'd take care of it. Here's is the rest of the story in pictures.

Steven thought the birds might get out of the box (or worse, a cat might get in). He sort of looked at me expectantly and I said, "It's not like I have a birdhouse!"

He looked at me like I was insane and calmly said, "uh, you have 5 in the living room."

Oh ya.
This is a bad picture, but if you look close you can see Mama bird bringing her little ones food still.

Remember Harry and Moses?

Remember my adorable wreathe nest?

Remember Charlotte?

I'm sure there have been more, but this has been the smelliest, raucous bunch of wildlife we've ever been forced to adopt.

Really smelly.

North Carolina

2010-05-11T07:54:00.001-06:00

Steven and I got away for our 10 year anniversary which doesn't actually happen until October (let's hope we can make it that long, right?).

Let me start by saying it had just snowed the previous week. Everything was still dead and gray from a long winter and all we could say was how beautiful North Carolina was. We could totally live there.

Well, not here of course. This is the Biltmore in Asheville. The largest private home in America. It was finished in 1905 by the Vanderbilt family. It's the same house in the movie Richie Rich. There are 4 acres of house there...they didn't even bother telling us the square footage.

The grounds were just as impressive with a farm, winery, and miles of hiking, rivers and ponds.

We made friends at the farm on located on the grounds.

We did a lot of hiking while we were in North Carolina.
This is one of the many trails we were on.

We were able to stay with Chris and Jenny J* (congrats on the new baby!). My one huge regret from the trip was not taking any pictures when we together!

Thanks to Mama and Papa Mick!
We couldn't have gone if it weren't for you.

Mother's Day Irony

2010-05-09T11:14:00.001-06:00

Is it weird to anyone else that for Mother's Day we typically give our mother a break from that which we're supposedly celebrating.

Really we should be giving them extra children and dishes and laundry.

But since my family gets irony,
I slept in and had breakfast in bed.

Bradley's Bite

2010-05-07T07:47:00.000-06:00

This is why we stick to pet fish....

Bradley was outside when our neighbor came over with his horsedog. I'm pretty sure that's a real breed. The dog got "excited" and likes to "play rough". Uh, good thing he had a shirt on when it happened.

Bradley's Baptism

2010-05-04T11:58:00.000-06:00

I've had all these great blog ideas but lost my camera with all of my pictures still on it so I didn't have any good illustrations. You gotta have illustrations! I finally remembered I had placed it under the driver's seat in my car. Weird place, I know. It's because there's this rule that you can't bring a recording device into court and I had to leave it somewhere "not on my person".

That's a different blog entry.

Anyway, here are pics from Bradley's birthday/baptism celebrations.

Bradley and Steven before the baptism.

We have awesome friends and family!

Bradley growing impatient to blow out the candles.

Been Occupied.

2010-03-29T12:45:00.003-06:00

We had a crazy couple of weeks there.

Bradley got baptized March 6th which meant both the 'rents were in town.
Steven and I left for NC for the heck of it.
Checked out the Houston Rodeo for Spring Break.
Had some medical issues.
Running a contest that seems to stress me out without making me lose weight.

I'll get to the fun entries soon. This contest HAS to end....sooner.

Oh the Weather...

2010-02-23T20:27:00.005-06:00

I just spoke to a man who has lived here for 32 years. He's never seen this city like this. Snow just doesn't stick here. My kids had a ball. Miss Ariel took these pics of Liv making a snowman.

It took a lot of restraint not to go pull them out of school early!

What to Do?

2010-02-22T14:40:00.003-06:00

I'm struggling with what to write. I just taught a class on Saturday about blogging for Pete's sake! You'd think I'd have more up my sleeve than contest updates and Charlie Brown quotes, but no.

I could write about what's going on in the news. But I'd have to say things like

Tiger's really not a tiger, he's a pig.
Middleclass-dom is suffering with little hope.
and

Driving a Toyota is frightening, but what can you do?

Any ideas out there?

I think I can hear crickets chirping...

Some Valentine's Advice

2010-02-08T21:23:00.002-06:00

"The amount of money that you spend on a [Valentine] present should be in direct proportion of the amount of affection that you have for that person."

-Linus, from Charlie Brown.

Get This

2010-01-22T17:07:00.004-06:00

I went to the gym today and instead of getting on the treadmill, like I always do, I decide to go to a class called Strike (basically it's kickboxing). All's going just fine until I see the camera guy.

Are you kidding me, people? At the gym?

Now I mean full-on camera guy. He was holding a big 'ol thing like the one above. SO WEIRD!

There's like 3 times in your life when cameras should not be allowed.

1. Birth. That's just gross.
2. After the birth. Still lookin' gross.

and 3. Any sort of aerobics class
where you have to be semi-coordinated,
without make-up or hair,
in your grubbies,
red-splotched and sweaty.

I'm sure there's more, but those are the times when I wouldn't want them there. Now I don't have any idea why he was there. I pray to the good Lord that I won't be in some crappy workout video someday. Maybe the instructor was making a resume booster?

Here's the really bad part, the camera guy looked as if he thought he should be holding paddles and rubbing them together so they'd be primed when one of us collapsed with a coronary.

The good part: my friend going out of her way to find me to let me know Emmy wasn't feeling well at school. I was only in class for like 20 minutes instead of 60. Phew. Thanks again, Stace!

Wanna Keep Up?

2010-01-19T09:10:00.000-06:00

Instead of placing the contest in the side bar, I've started a new blog called:

Losing 10%

found here

This will allow you a better view of our intense competition. Remember there's still time to join. If everyone that told me they were interested actually pays by the deadline, the pot will be at a whopping $3100!

Right now it's at $2600 - still larger than we've ever had.

So call up your overweight, but much lazier friends and family (after all you don't want them to actually take your money, right?) and let them know they have until the beginning of February.

2010-01-16T16:34:00.002-06:00

Let's say someone takes your kids.

In a good way. I mean, they take them off your (and your spouse's) hands for a few days so you can go relax together.

Where do you go?
What do you do?
What's your dream getaway?

Oh ya, you have 4 days 3 nights.

Happy FAT TUESDAY!

2010-01-10T08:32:00.003-06:00

For those of you in the contest...

Happy FAT TUESDAY!

If you were all nearby, I'd throw a party for all of you! But since you're from all over the country, I'm wishing you the best on your last day of happy indulgence.

My 50th contestant emailed me this morning.
...$2500!

Holy GIANT POT, Batman!

2010-01-09T09:23:00.003-06:00

No, not that pot!

You guys all rock! This is [still unofficially] the biggest pot we've ever had. If everyone that has contacted me is actually participating (because I still have yet to receive money from all of you), we stand at almost

$2200!

I was looking at some old statistics from contests past and I noticed that when couples participate they either both make their goal or neither meet the 10%.

Just sayin'.

If you have a spouse that you think could use it, it could be very beneficial to you both. Otherwise, go find yourself a good friend, that lives close by, that can be your support system. While it's fun to think you might be the only one who makes your goal, MY GOAL is to have everyone earn their money back.

Woo hoo!
Here's to losing some chunk.

Unoffical Count

2010-01-04T17:16:00.005-06:00

Just to keep you updated... the count is unofficially at:

32 CONTESTANTS

= $1600.00

You want in?
It starts on Monday, Jan 11th.
I need the money before you weigh in.

Reduce, Reuse, ReOxygenate

2009-12-30T17:55:00.002-06:00

Bradley's been learning about recycling and other nuances of enviromental issues. The other night he came downstairs just after bedtime and told us he couldn't sleep because he was worried.

Bradley: Mom I can't sleep.
Me: Why? Have you been having nightmares?
Bradley: No. I'm worried about deforestation. (EXACT QUOTE)

I did not realize he even knew this word let alone the meaning of it.

Me: Why are you worried about it?
Bradley (with a trembling voice): I'm afraid that if all the trees get cut down we won't have any oxygen left and we'll all suffocate.

There was some explaining done and promises made; like we'll cut back on our use of plastics and paper and begin investing in oxygen tanks if he'll go back to bed.

What would you tell your 7-year old?

Lounging with a Twist

2009-12-27T11:14:00.000-06:00

I caught my children watching television like this.

Don't believe me?

Once Again

2009-12-26T17:43:00.003-06:00

I wasn't going to do it.

No one had mentioned it until today.

I thought I had killed you all off.

But I now know I still have some takers.

Who wants in the contest?

Piano Recital

2009-12-23T10:57:00.000-06:00

The piano recital was a hit. I'm surprised we crammed so many people into our living room and up the stairs. We never did a head count, but I'm pretty sure there was over 60 people in attendance. There are two more rows not seen.

Growing up, my piano teacher never played at the end of our recitals. I was unaware of the normal tradition until our last recital it was requested of me to play. This time I was prepared until Steven told the students that they could hover around me since I'm always hovering over their shoulders.

Even as I made the program, I didn't realize how many students I have. I'm blessed to have such wonderful people come into my home every week.

Kind of makes me choke up when I see all of them.

L to R: Jen D*, Diana N*, Michelle H*, Spencer H*, Sadey N*, Jesse N*, Mairzey N*, Ben M*, Nikka D*, Luke D*, Brody N*, Joseph D*, Bradley M*, Steven M*, Ethan S*, Emily S*, Madison H*, Madelyn N*, Lupita B*, Emma C*, Alison T* (not pictured: Emmy M* - who had retired upstairs to her room and fallen asleep in her dress).

Drip Drip Drop

2009-12-17T11:50:00.002-06:00

About six months ago there was a rumor that LDS church officials were going to implement an elbow bump greeting rather than a traditional handshake to aid in the hindrance of disease spreading.

Really? The elbow bump? I can only imagine the elderly doing this. Luckily it was only a rumor.

Again, REALLY? If we think handshaking is a problem, we need to look elsewhere. Like many other churches, the Sacrament is offered to us every week. And I believe we've come a long way from sharing a communal cup...

until Olivia started partaking.

Now, my kids are relatively healthy, but that doesn't keep me from being super grossed out when she insists on discarding her cup. The problem is that there is always a drop (or 3) left in the cup and when she puts the cup back, it always manages to tip and pour into another cup along the way.

All I can say is "ew" (not to mention my apologies to whoever sat behind us).

Don't worry, I now discard her cups for her. I just don't know about the snot-nosed kid two rows up from me.

When your ward has chronic swine flu, you'll know why.

Not Close Enough for Comfort

2009-12-09T11:19:00.003-06:00

Here's the deal, putting lights on a two-story house is really, uh, high.

Anybody need a half dozen boxes of icicle lights?

Does anyone else feel dizzy?

Dream Mediocrity

2009-11-25T07:45:00.004-06:00

I realized the other day that [perhaps like many of you] it would fulfill a dream of mine to sing on stage.

But only as back-up vocals.

Whaaat?

What is wrong with me? It's like dreaming of being sous-chef, vice president or winning the silver medal. I don't know if it's because I like singing harmony or if I don't like the pressure of being center of attention. Either way, apparently it's not my dream to "reach for the stars."

So go on America, teach your kids to reach for the...clouds.

Okay, maybe a satellite. But NOT the stars; way too high.

Cynthia T. Rickelson

2009-11-19T12:48:00.005-06:00

We live in, what I like to call, the Bedazzled Buckle of the bible belt. That being said, when you don't have a cross around your neck or tattooed to your ankle or on the back of your jean jacket in rhinestones, people start to question if you really believe in Jesus Christ.

The other day, my neighbor informed me that if you work for the school (any government owned school for that matter) you weren't allowed to wear any religious paraphernalia. I thought of Bradley's teacher and her ginormous chain of about a dozen crosses that she wore every once in a while.

I said, "I think that's why we [LDS] stuck with the CTR ring."

She responded, "you can't even wear that."

I nicely argued that for all she knows CTR (commonly known to stand for: Choose The Right) has nothing to do with Christianity. It could be a crazy right-winged republican ring, or maybe it's reminder because I forget which hand I'm supposed to use when I draw, or it's my deceased grandmother's initials and green was her favorite color!

What do you think?

Is a CTR ring appropriate?

Pumpkin Carving

2009-11-17T06:38:00.002-06:00

The 3rd Annual Contest took place a few weeks ago. But because we were moving and the what-nots of excuses, I didn't get around to posting pics.

But before you get all mad/relieved that you didn't get invited. We have very strict rules: we have to like you.

Just kidding! You have to live in our neighborhood (either SO or MR).

John & Hayden S* (We missed you Tiffany & Hudson!)

Brian showed Baby Megan how to carve this one by herself.
I'm sure Kevin & Heather S* were somewhere close by.

Danielle, Joe, Izzy & Madison H*
holding their well-deserved prizes...

The H* Family and their pumpkin that Jarom poured over making us end the night around 2 am (also pictured, Kristy, Cole, Shayla, Cooper & Brynn).

Crystal & TJ J* used this as their candy jar.

Showing off my great photography skills with Bryan, Nicole & Tyson V E*.
It's really not blury, it's a soft lense.

The C* Family: Keith, Loriann, Avery & Addy
Avery's the violent one that stabbed the poor pirate's head.

Mr McMonkey & myself with Olivia, Bradley and
Emmy - our daughter who auditioned for The Ring

My one action shot. Is that kid being accosted?

Can I just point out the winners?
The mummy (front right) won Scariest.
The Trick or Treat (front left) won Most Creative. (see picture below)
The JACK (middle right) "won" Most Pathetic.

Can you see the "TREAT" reflected on the back wall?

It was oooooober fun. And there was lots of food, lots of costumes & lots of boxes of stuff (as we were moving a week later). We'll see what next year brings.

A House Warming Gift

2009-11-08T05:36:00.001-06:00

...that made my day.

Thanks, Shel!

Halloween Catch Up

2009-11-06T05:38:00.003-06:00

Since I was without you for a few weeks, you didn't get to see my monkeys in their 'stumes.

I forewarning:
they are NOT emotionally abused.

Bradley was The Count. "Mwah ah ah!"

And, my 5-year old, Emmy,
who should want to be a princess/ballerina/fairy/angel
has, instead, chosen a different route.

If you just peed your pants, don't worry.
It's a very normal reaction.
She was playing the role well and refused to smile for the camera saying, "Zombies don't smile, Mama!"

Ahh,Olivia. The one I still have at least minimal control over.

Except that it started itching her like crazy and she ended up in...

Was it Lincoln that said, "Whatever you are, be a good one."?
Well, my kids would have made him proud.

I have INTERNET!

2009-11-05T06:17:00.000-06:00

Holy cow! It’s not like I feel I rely heavily on the internet, it’s more like I couldn’t breathe and my heart stopped for the few days without it.

In all honesty, it was nice knowing no one could call, that I had no obligation to answer emails, that my life continued on (and is, in fact, more productive) without phone and email.

Television on the other hand…

Can someone update me on SYTYCD and PR (and if you don’t know what those stand for, you’re not worthy of updating me)? And more importantly, when can I come over because we’ve decided to [dramatic pause] NOT get cable/dish [GASP!].

Don't freak out.
It's not like I'm going to start homeschooling and put Liv in cloth diapers.
We're just experimenting. I'll just buy the Glee soundtrack this month.

Have you ever gone w/o TV?

Squatters

2009-11-04T13:50:00.001-06:00

While this sounds like an appropriate new nickname for me and my new friends Chin 2 and the Love Handles, it’s what Steven and I called ourselves for an entire week.

For seven days we lived in an un-resided-in home. The owners had moved and were in the process of selling it (to us) but closing had yet to occur.

And we lived there.

For a week.

I feel like I can truly relate to homeless people everywhere. I know how hard it is to not call something your own – even though we still had occupation options for our rental house and we were pretty sure closing was going to go fairly smoothly, not to mention we have plenty of food and clothing – but don’t you think I am more whole now and have a certain sense of kinship with transients everywhere ‘cause it’s pretty much the exact same circumstances?

Ya, me too.

Pictures to be posted soon.

Two Turtle Loves

2009-10-16T06:08:00.003-06:00

Wanna hear the cutest story ever? ... Mkay, I'm gonna tell you anyway.

I was coming home from my friend Nicole's house and I nearly ran over a turtle.

That's not the cute part, duh.

Let me first say that about a block from our house is a giant pond. I knew this turtle had strayed a little too far from home. While this is the second time I've almost hit a turtle, we thought we better bring him home. We tried to give him a bath in our backyard with the hose and our ghetto/yellow/plastic swimming pool with every intention of taking it back the next day. This thing had so much moss on its shell, we named it Hairry Potter (from here on out, it's now a boy for convenience's sake). Also, now that it was named, it was destined to stay with us forever, ... or at least the weekend.

Anyhoo, he liked to hide amidst our overgrown trim. Occasionally, it was hard to find him. A few days later Steven was out back grilling when Emmy complained that she couldn't find Hairry. Steven jokingly said, "maybe if you whistle, he'll come to you."

Some lady, just on the other side of our fence heard Steven's comment. She yelled through the fence, "are you guys looking for a turtle?"

This surprised us. We didn't think there was any way through the fence and we didn't think he'd be able to dig his way out because he was an aquatic turtle. Even so, Steven went out the gate and grabbed the turtle that this lady and her barely-restrained dog had found.

Funny thing, it wasn't Hairry.

This turtle was bigger.

Steven went back to where this new turtle had been found (just outside our backyard) and looked directly on the other side of our fence (in our backyard) to make sure he had, in fact, not crawled underneath the fence. Low and behold, there was Hairry hiding in our overgrown grass.

Our little turtle lovers had found each other and just didn't know how to reach each other through the fence.

[a collective "aaawww" from the crowd is now appropriate]

Meet Marge (L) and Hairry (R)

Emmy wanted in this next picture,
though she's only holding a lowly frog.
L to R: Emmy (w/ prince charming), Jason B* (holding Marge), Bradly (w/ Hairry), Zed B* ('cause he couldn't get enough of the turtles).

They were so far (relatively) away from their home. Had to be miles (or something) in human steps.

Olivia with her new playmates.

School Photog Day

2009-10-13T07:16:00.000-06:00

My school photo from 1st grade

My kids took there school pictures last week.

As I was doing their respective hair(s), I mentioned to them how lucky they were that their mom did their hair in the privacy of their own home.

"Whaaaat?"

I explained to them that my mother found out what time our class' pictures were to be taken, showed up at the school with brushes & hairspray (just short of extensions, glitter & self tanner) so she could primp us up just before the flashes began.

And, yes, she stood behind the camera man smiling and pointing to her exhausted cheeks simultaneously.

School photo from 3rd grade

Now that I'm written out of her will, I might as well tell you that until Junior High, I was required to wear a dress every time we had school pictures. Another piece of information my kids responded to with, "WHAT?!"

While I was never in a beauty pageant, she would have made an excellent stage mom.

Olivia's Two

2009-10-06T07:18:00.000-06:00

...and that's not a birthday announcement. It's more like a behavior announcement (but, we'll still accept gifts).

Her entourage:

(Tyson V*, Logan O*)

Her unwillingness to wear clothing (and her magnetism to dirt):

"Soooo Preeeetty, Liv!"

Even grubby, she's still kissable!

Her uncanny ability to let you know you need to go change an unflattering outfit with just a simple expression.

Love you, Liv.

"For the First Time...

2009-10-04T07:14:00.003-06:00

.... I feel ... WICKED."

Sleeping Sisters

2009-10-02T06:11:00.001-06:00

Indoor Soccer

2009-09-30T07:00:00.004-06:00

Last night was my last game of the season.
[enter frowny-faced emoticon]

Yes, those socks are from high school. It was a pleasure, ladies.

L to R: Kari, Heather, Becca, Jill (#1), Sheryl, Jill (#2), Me, Kristy
(not photographed: Lezlie)

Super Glue

2009-09-29T11:53:00.003-06:00

While trying to fix her glasses, Domie got herself into a sticky situation.

But seriously, who travels with super glue? Only SUPERMOM, Janese!

Move Over

2009-09-27T10:17:00.004-06:00

Our house is on the market (to rent).

If you do some 1st grade math, that means we're moving. Don't worry, not far.

In fact, if you have really good aim, you can spit and hit it from our front porch.

I'm giddy about the whole thing. In fact, I catch myself giggling out loud while I'm walking around doing mundane tasks in my home. And while it will be furnished with our hand-me-downs in most rooms, and completely unfurnished in others, I can't help but think how much fun we'll have when you come stay with me (even if there's nothing for you to sleep on, yet).

ECD: October 29th.

Brrr

2009-09-22T09:07:00.001-06:00

It was 72 degrees this morning when I asked my children if they wanted a jacket.

We've acclimated to Texas weather, I think.

Grace-less

2009-09-20T20:41:00.002-06:00

There are WAY too many dancing shows out there for me.

Dancing w/ the Stars

So You Think You Can Dance

ummm, Ellen

It gets a girl to thinkin' she's got moves. And then she tries them out in front of her bathroom mirror. And yes, even though I was all by myself, I was abhorrently embarrassed.

Stop. I know you've done it, too (danced in front of the mirror). And if you haven't -- well, everyone should.

I had no idea I was that awkward looking. For a moment I felt obligated to call my mother and have her demand her money back for the 10(!) years of dance lessons.

Except, it all begins to make sense. As I recall those years, I bounced year after year to different studios. Hmmm. Maybe my mom failed to tell me something....

A Thirst Quenched

2009-09-13T20:58:00.004-06:00

It's raining outside.

It has been since Tuesday.

If you live in the area, you know this is a really great thing.

If you live in my stake, you know it's a miracle.

God is good.

Rock Camp

2009-09-09T12:59:00.008-06:00

I'm catching up on some summer blogging since I don't have any fiery conversations to start up. Feel free to throw something at me.
The monkeys took a rock climbing course at our local gym. They loved climbing. Well, mostly they loved falling.

Emmy at her most graceful.She could hold her own (literally).

Bradley on his way up.

He's such a show off.

Twinners

2009-09-07T11:30:00.004-06:00

I found my long lost twin.

Shhh, don't tell her she's going gray.
I think it's all the stress of being reunited with her sis.

Cha-Ching

2009-08-28T06:39:00.004-06:00

It'll only take one more person to join to get the pot at $2000.

Any takers?

Come on! Someone out there has a muffin top, love handles, a wedged wedding ring or back rolls that they are trying to get rid of. You know, if you lose feeling when you're wearing spanx and the red lines don't go a way for hours, you need to join us.

RM

2009-08-27T06:21:00.005-06:00

My sister, Holly, just returned from her mission in Connecticut. That was one major reason we went when we did (thanks to the Micks for accommodating my side of the family).

It was great to see her. She's amazing.

Now, if I could just get her to take us ladies on a trip back East.

BTW: why are the phrases always "back east" and "out west"?
Any of you a linguist?

First Day a School

2009-08-26T06:11:00.009-06:00

Sorry, we just got back from our Utah/Idaho trip (more later) which explains why I haven't posted in a while and why my grammar is struggling. It seems in Texas, you combine words or make them up all together; ie: ya'll or ain't. In Utah, you change letters or leave them out of the words; like mow-en (for mountain) or pellow.

Love, love, love the first day of school. I love feeling anxious and excited and a little like you want to throw up. It's so great!

Also love how Olivia wanted to be apart of EVERYTHING!

It's also funny when the bus picks you up in the morning, but doesn't have your stop listed on the route when they're on the way home and your kids get home at 3:45 when the left for school at 7:15.

That's funny.

Ha.

Saturday Fun

2009-08-06T08:52:00.000-06:00

I took pictures...

... for proof. It's been 4 years since we've been out.
I had to get it on film, or at least memory card.

Emmy workin' it out on the knee-board,
though, not necessarily ever on her knees.

Bradley enjoying his 2nd ride.

Livvers.
If you're in the sun and water long enough, this happens.

Moi.

Steven catchin' air.
One handed?
Fancy.

Thanks to the B* Family for indulging us.
I was sore until yesterday.

A Toast

2009-07-31T06:28:00.002-06:00

Here's to:

No longer being the person people lay next to on the beach to feel good about themselves.

Cheers.

-The contest begins today.

Homebound

2009-07-24T11:10:00.002-06:00

Emmy's been puking for the past two days.
Olivia has some minor form of conjunctivitis.
Thus, Bradley and I are stuck at home.

Until he abandoned me to go to his friends' house.

I'm bored.

Even though I have a book to read for book club, a bedroom to organize and a house to disinfect with Clorox Wipes and Lysol. Plus, I'm sure there's a pile of laundry somewhere that needs to be put away.

Please tell me at least you're out having fun, you know, grocery shopping or going to the cleaners. What's it like to have such a glamorous life?

You Look Like You Could Use It

2009-07-20T09:26:00.004-06:00

- not the contest! The money, duh!

You have until Friday, the 31st to send me your money. So do it!

Email me (look over there ------> for my email address) if you need my home address.

I'm getting money every day from everywhere. It's gonna be another good one!

What's wrong with the rest of you. Is it 'cause you can't think of a good alias?

What about these:
Fatty McGee
I [heart] Cankles
Large Marge
Cellulucious
Sausage Fingers
Heart Condition in the Works
5 Feet Across
Kilograms R Better

...come on

Bring it!

Click here for verification if you don't know what the heck I'm talking about.

The rules and price have changed, email for the details.

Spoiler Alert

2009-07-15T07:13:00.004-06:00

It was good.

And scary.

Too scary for my monkeys. Like that scene where that thing happens to that person and then stuff.

Thanks, Shels, Jester, Say-Diddy, Teej, Crys-meister, Tabby-cakes, & C-dawg for going with me. It was fun. And now I have nicknames for all of you. I know I didn't tell you, but you like them, right?

Sorry if I ruined the movie for you.
I just couldn't keep it to myself.

Dirty Laundry

2009-07-11T10:12:00.001-06:00

Ste and I have been discussing lately.

Discussing is an adorable way to say arguing.

Here's my side [the right side] of the fight, I mean, discussion:

I'm at a time in my life when my children are too young to adequately (or they're unwilling to) help around the house and, to finish off the double-edged sword, they're also at that age when they seem to make the largest of messes (Olivia!).

To top it off, my husband has, ahem, removed himself one degree further (he' in the 'ric, now) and I'm doing stuff like mowing/edging the yard & taking out the trash (I feel like I'm one step away from scratching myself inappropriately - and I can't even say stuff like that anymore 'cause I'm married to someone in the 'ric).

Ugh.

Anyway, I thought that during the summer, when my kids are around an extra 8 hours a day to destroy my house, it would be nice to have someone help out once every 3-4 weeks.

Here's his side of the "discussion":

It's not in the budget.
It's not going to only last during the summer (he knows my addictive tendencies).
Our house is small enough that you can clean the toilet and vacuum the stairs at the same time. AND if I want a house that's not as small, we need to cut back on splurges, which brings us back to reason #1.

So, go ahead.
Comment.
But only if you're going to validate my needs.

You Non-Contributing Zero

2009-07-09T07:20:00.003-06:00

Thanks for the video, Pops.

Unecessary Explanation

2009-07-07T10:01:00.003-06:00

Sometimes when I'm at the checkout and all of my treasures are slowly moving along that conveyor belt, I sometimes glance at the check-out chick to see if she's judging me.

A raised eyebrow.

A smirk.

A tilted head.

A frownsmile.

Nothing. I've never once had any of these judging face/body languages from the person behind the register, even though I probably should have. Because I know if I were checking someone out, I'd be like, "Really? You're going to buy that Tropicana crap when the frozen concentrate is half the price? Psh."

As I my own eyes search over my purchases, I feel like I need to explain why I'm buying strawberries and carrots and still feeding my kids Lucky Charms. And why I'm buying diet soda and yet I'm getting ice cream and chocolate candy. Or why I'm buying a block of cheddar cheese as well as the pre-grated cheddar cheese. Really? Am I that lazy? I just know they're thinking these things.

I will admit that a few years ago when I was frantically buying a pregnancy test and a snickers bar, the girl said, well, she sort of asked it: "Good luck."?

I just tilted my head at her and frownsmiled.

Am I Invited or Inviting?

2009-06-27T06:43:00.003-06:00

We are merely days (18, or something) away from HP6 and I haven't heard anything about anything.

Why are there not:

Parties being planned?
Dinners being hosted?
Premier tickets being sold to me?

Come on, people. Am I going to have to organize this?

Fine.

Who wants to come?

I'll need to know numbers if I have to rent out an entire theater before the 15th.

Is it weird that I want to be her?

It's Been Real...Weird

2009-06-26T13:12:00.003-06:00

I know he's been a bit of a freak for the past few, but seriously he was amazing.

I'm listening to Thriller and it's making it all better.

Cheer Camp

2009-06-23T12:45:00.002-06:00

I teach a cheer camp every summer to little girls for an entire week.

Times 3.

While I won't admit to you whether or not I was a rah-rah ('cause most of you already know), I will say it's all the more hilarious to see 4-6 year olds being rah-rahs. (In case you didn't know, rah-rah - a.k.a cheerleader - was dubbed after the ever-famous: rah, rah, sis, boom, bah).

They discuss who has the best outfit (though they explain their best ones are usually at home for some reason). They discuss what moves they can do. Then they show me. Awesome. They tell me stories about their family - that I'm pretty sure their family wouldn't want told. Awesomer.

Did I mention:

I teach them in a squash court? Which echos like you wouldn't believe.

And rah-rahs YELL. A. LOT?

And 4-6 year olds have REALLY high-pitched yells?

And I can't hear anything except an obnoxious ringing?

They're really good at wearing me out. I'm ready for be at 7 every night. They're are 8 or 9 signed up for the class but only 5 have been showing up.

God's watching out for me.

Why won't anyone answer that phone?

It's Beginning

2009-06-21T09:04:00.001-06:00

I'm already receiving money.

You in?

Texas Baseball

2009-06-19T05:36:00.005-06:00

Three of his four coaches on Closing Ceremonies Day

Baseball was fun. Especially when we realized we hadn't gone over the fundamental rules of the game with Bradley. During his first game he tagged someone out with his glove as they ran by him heading for 3rd base.

Bradley didn't have the ball.

He seemed sincerely confused at why his "out" didn't count.

Ultimate Nursery

2009-06-15T08:15:00.003-06:00

Just after the lesson and snack,

and right before singing time,

there's no-rules wrestling now in nursery.

Olivia's still learning to keep her fists up.

I'm just waiting for CPS to show up on my front door.
Thank goodness there were witnesses.

I'm not sure what the other kid looks like.
Really there was no wrestling, just a nasty collision.

Angela's Local Event

2009-06-09T21:24:00.005-06:00

Isn't she beautiful (especially next to that freak
with the fake red hair impersonating Victoria)?

Angela is teaching yoga Monday and Thursday mornings at the M* Ranch Community Pool.

It's at 6 am.

You can pay her whatever you think she's worth (like a million bucks).

It's at 6 am.

I've taken her class. She's amazing.

Oh ya, it's at 6 am.

I can't afford a million bucks, so I'm bringing the change I find in my couch.

Did I mention it's at 6 [IN THE freaking MORNING!] am?

Well it is at 6. And I'll see you there (like in two days - mkay?).

Sorry to those who aren't local and can't take part
in such an amazing - though early - event.

Pre-K Graduation

2009-06-08T14:00:00.000-06:00

Backtracking a bit.

Emmy "graduated" from preschool.

Now while it was all really adorable and everything, I kept hearing Craig Nelson's character saying, "They keep inventing new ways to celebrate mediocrity!"

I don't think you mediocre, Em. You're really special and stuff.

But they had real gowns for them all to wear, they called their names one by one, and there were musical numbers. Did I mention she's moving from one unnecessary school level to another (as far as I know Kinder is still not required, right?).

As I move onto the bigger picture here, I can't help but think of the kids' soccer team last season in which they all received trophies for.... winning? nope. trying hard? nope. showing up to the games/practices? nope.

paying the fee up front? yup.

What are we teaching these children?
That it's not necessary to try your hardest.
That winning isn't important (I know, "as long as you have fun..." blah blah)
That things like sportsmanship, grades, and effort don't really matter.
That you don't even have to cross the finish line to get something.
That as long as ma & pa pay the way, we can get the shiny gold thing at the end.

Not to shy away from Emmy's BIG moment. It was ... ahem ... neat. But I don't think every kid deserves that medal/trophy/diploma.

Am I just mean?
Give it to me. I can take it.

San Diego

2009-06-02T06:25:00.014-06:00

Was ever so relaxing.

Steven had his annual PA conference in San Diego (it's a new city every year). And since his company pays for him to go, we decided to make a vacation out of it and trick his parents into watching the kids.

It worked like a charm. (We're so sneaky!)

Steven and I had never been to San Diego together. So, besides making time for his classes, we made time for other stuffs, too.

Such as:

We made it to this place the night we got in. The first time for both of us to be inside this amazing building. Though this picture makes it look like it belongs on the set of Dark Crystal. Not that I know what that movie is.

Did a little surfing. Well, he did. I tried and failed once a long time ago.
Not ready for that again.
Maybe after I train for that triathlon I'm doing never.

We got to hang out with cool people like this.

I had to save Eli from a rabid parrot.

Us on one of the balconies at the conference center in the gas lamp district.

We made time to attend an ever-so important Padres vs Cubs game.

Hotel del Coronado

Our hotel had these awesome fire pits our on the pool deck.

We had breakfast right on the shore.

I pretended like I missed work and all of my piano students.
(It's a treble clef for you music illiterate)

And for kicks, we wrastled a giant squid for Bradley. It won.

So here's a shout out to Dwight & Ruth for making this happen.
You guys rock more than you know!

You Will Find a Little Nest...

2009-05-29T11:08:00.007-06:00

Sorry. I've been away. More on that to come.

On my front door I have this wreathe. It's this awesome wreathe from THE RANCH that John and Eli made for us.

It never comes off my front door.

Most of you know how much I love change. I like changing my hair color/length. I like moving. I like redecorating rooms. So the fact that this wreathe hasn't lost its spot means something. Sure, occasionally I throw stuff on top of it, or use wire to tie seasonal things onto it. But it hasn't come off my door since we've received it - I love it that much.

Anyway, while I was away (again, more on that later), Ste's parents were here watching the monkeys. They must have stuck to the garage entrance rather than the front entrance because when we went through the front door last night, we saw something unusual.

Sure, everything looks normal at this angle.

Do you see it? At the corner of the flag?
It's the sweetest little bird's nest you'll ever see.

And, YES, those are two little eggs.

Gramma L*

2009-05-15T16:32:00.008-06:00

...technically it's Gramma R* (she remarried), but it started out as Gramma L* and I think - for me - it will always be that way.

My dear, maternal grandmother passed away early this morning. We all knew it was coming soon, and we were excited for her reunion with all her loved ones who left this earth before her. Mostly her husband, Elroy, who passed on in 1978, her 11 year old sister who died when Virginia was only 10 and her son Stephen, who only lived until he was 16 months old.

I've spoken of Virg before; like here and here. Above is her engagement picture. There were some unique traits about Gramma (I'm from Utah and we don't pronounce non-essential consonants) that are worth mentioning.

Your lawn should be mowed in a diagonal pattern.
She was obsessed with the OJ trial and still believes that the verdict was right.
People should try their hardest to fall in love with someone who is rich.
And getting said person to fall in love with you is based 98% on how you present yourself: grooming, style, etc.
Only use ice cold water on your flower beds.
The gospel is important.
Teal green and turquoise (and all shades in between) was most certainly her favorite color.
The best way to wash windows is with a raw potato and crumpled newspaper.
Fashion and interior design is an essential part of life.
A glass of orange juice and an oatmeal raisin cookie will make anyone feel welcome.
Plant a garden.
She'd always say, "Let me look at ya," and then she'd make you slowly spin in front of her. Even if you were 27 years old.
Polish your silver regularly. Why in the world have silver if it's not polished?
It is okay to decorate you house for Christmas in October (and having multiple trees with different themes and color combinations is crucial)
Do you family history (her personal history has been published in a hard bound book and is 900 pages long - it too is turquoise).
Eating dandelion greens is [somehow] good for you.
and so many more things...

She took me to New York City when I was 15 years old. It was so exciting. We were there during Christmas and New Years and we did all the touristy things; we saw a Broadway show, Radio City Music Hall, Time Square, Rockefeller Plaza and we were kicked out of a St. John store for taking pictures of their decoration ideas - you know, the usual stuff everyone does in New York.

I wish we could have gone to lunch one more time. Or better yet, I would love to hear her laugh again. She had this high-pitched chuckle and if you were the one to make her laugh, her nose would crinkle up and she'd wave her hand at you as if to shew you away.

She had beautiful hands.

She had exquisite taste.

She couldn't hold a grudge against anyone for anything.

She gave me my mama.

I love you, Gramma and I'll do my best to make you proud.
Give Grampa a hug from me. We never had the chance.

Primary Rocks

2009-05-12T07:52:00.001-06:00

....but with the spirit, of course.

I'm the chorister in my church for 3-11 year olds. That's quite a range of ages their, folks. So, I do my best to accomadate all ages without planning two separate teaching strategies.

This past week I brought my super-duper-awesomest sombrero. I decked it out pimp-style. Then I went to Party City and bought a crazy boa and some really terrible glasses. Sunday morning I found out that the boa I had purchased had a string of lights on it and actually lit up. I mean, does it get any better than that?

I explained to the kids that whichever class sang the best, their teacher would be chosen to come up and where the "outfit".

It worked.

Like a charm.

Did you know that 11-year old boys will sing with the right motivation?

Sorry to do this to you Crystal, but I think Truman was the only one who had his phone with him. So really it's his fault and you should torture him (not Emmy who happens to be in your class).

Happy Mother's &/or Wife's Day

2009-05-11T05:52:00.003-06:00

Someone told me yesterday that their husband didn't do anything for them for Mother's Day because she wasn't his mother.

What the?

I told Steven this and he said, "What the?"

Steven went on to say that I take care of him. I feed him, clothe him, cut his hair, take care of his finances, clean up after him, make sure the oil gets changed, and still let him put his candy wrappers in my purse (why do they think your the garbage can?). The list goes on and on.

So I ask you your opinion:

Do husbands need to get their
WIFE something for Mother's Day?

New Aunt

2009-05-05T12:51:00.001-06:00

My sister had her baby yesterday.

Congratulations, Kristen!

I bet he's all perfect and warm and little and smells yummy and...

I'm homesick.

No Worries

2009-05-03T08:01:00.001-06:00

To all our family and friends that are worried:

We haven't caught the swine, yet.

Here's how we're avoiding it.

First of all I found the remote (PHEW!). So we're more likely to stay at home anyway. I have all those shows to catch up on.
Secondly, I've given up on sucking on cart handles while I grocery shop. It was simply nervous habit.
Thirdly, we've taught our children to chew on their own nails and not their friends'.

Which leads me to the most important: We've begun to bathe in Purel. I know, I know, it's expensive. But you can't put a price on your health. Though it seems Purel has. Did you know it's not nearly as pricey when you buy it by the truckload? But the delivery guy still looks at you weird. And you get used to smelling ..... odd ... after the first week.

Hi, My Name's Mindy

2009-04-30T11:35:00.004-06:00

I'm addicted.

I didn't think I was (HELLO! Clear sign of denial!) addicted. In fact, Steven and I had discussed canceling our dish service when it happened.

We've lost the remote.

Really I'm not that lazy (I'm not in denial this time). I definitely have my lazy moments/days. But, I'm willing to change channels by hand if necessary. However, when you've lost the dish remote and the box isn't even in the same room (or on the same floor) as the television is, well, you just end up

really missing it.

So I'm here to introduce myself. My name's Mindy and I'm addicted to lame reality shows that are probably fixed (DWTS and AI), hilarious comedies that make the rest of the week worth while (30 Rock and Office), the occasional guilty pleasure (DH and GA) and shoving my kids in front of the Nick and Disney in the afternoons when I have to teach. (I only abbreviated the ones I'm truly embarrassed of.)

There. I said it. But I don't feel better. I'm still suffering from withdrawls. Why doesn't my remote have that pager thing my cordless phone does?

My only consolation: everything is still being DVRed.

I'm Home Schooling Now - Not Really

2009-04-29T06:31:00.004-06:00

Yesterday Bradley came home with 3 letters from school.

1. A lab confirmed case of pertussis has been reported in C* Elementary School. There's a 5-21 day incubation period. Watch for symptoms.

(Okay, I paraphrased a few things. You didn't really want to read it all.)

2. Flu vaccines administered in fall/winter 2008 do NOT protect against swine flu, and there is not a human vaccine for the illness. Due to our population density, school district communities are susceptible to the spread of illness. So wash your hands a lot. The school district is working with the government authorities on this matter and we've got your back. Even though we just said there is nothing we can do.

(Again, some paraphrasing.)
May I add that a 23-month old in TX died from this. The first death in the U.S.

3. Two small snakes were found this week on school property [in the building]. Both were determined to be rattlesnakes and were exterminated by district personnel.

(I get the feeling some lunch lady came across them and took care of the matter herself.)

Did I mention that it's TAKS tests are going on this week? If you want to pass your grade level, you must pass the test. It's a requirement.

So let me just sum up what's been going on over in our neck of the woods. If only they'd let me write their letters, it would save them lots of time.

Please send you children to school if you want them to succeed in their education. They may die, but at least they won't repeat the 3rd grade.

Silhouette

2009-04-26T08:35:00.000-06:00

Photo by: Steven

Ranchin'

2009-04-23T16:36:00.001-06:00

I'm not dead.

Not yet.

Really, truly I'm embarrassed that I've been such a slacker. I need some sort of motivation. Like, can someone send me $1000 each time I post. That doesn't seem like that big o' deal.

Really? Anyone?

Here are some pics of out at the ranch Easter weekend. Thanks to the rockin' E* Family for adopting us on holidays when we miss our other family.

The monkeys pre egg hunt.
It sorta looks like I photo-shopped Bradley's gang signs.

Olivia with her BFF Elizabeth.

The fam in the gator.

We all took turns feeding the cows and
oohing and awing at the new baby calves.
Here's the proof.

Some of us can't hack it. Poor John.

The little ones enjoying all that open space.

Peace out. I swear it won't be another month. I'll think of something. Especially with that $1000 check in the mail. Right?

Living Room Campout

2009-04-03T08:44:00.002-06:00

Who's a Loser?

2009-03-31T05:13:00.002-06:00

...apparently not me - for once.

But these guys all are:

Cake Addict: 11.5%
Miss Piggy: 13%
Big Bertha: 10.2%
Talespinner: 10.8%
Pinky: 10.1%
JoJo: 10%
N2WN: 11%
Clicky Vicky: 10.2%
Rooter: 10.7%
Fluffly LaRou: 10%
Sprinkles: 10%
Sweet Spice: 10.4%
Twinkle Toes: 10.8%
Road Runner: 10.2%

Congratulations to all you losers. At least I won Miss Congeniality and that's what really matters, right? Not bitter at all.

These 14 lucky (who am I kidding, they're not lucky, they worked their tales off!) people split $1720! That's around $122-ish. Hey, it's a better return than what they would have gotten out of the market! Tell me the last time you tripled your investment (and looked way hot after doing it)?

That's a sweet little shopping spree for some new jeans or swimsuit (or to Cheesecake Factory).

Now if I can just remember where I put all that cash.

[if only you could hear my sinister laughing]

Camping Adventures

2009-03-28T10:32:00.005-06:00

We went camping.

It was fun.

Blah, blah, blah.

Then Steven found this on one of our hikes.

Then we came home.

"It's just a Funny Story"

2009-03-26T14:56:00.001-06:00

When I picked Emmy up today from school, her teacher helped her into the car. The teacher approached with a huge grin. This is how the conversation went.

Ms. J: Congratulations!
Me: Thanks. -- Wait, what?!
Ms. J: I hear there's a new addition to the family on its way.
Me: To my family?
Ms. J: Yes. Emmy told us that you guys are having a little girl and naming her Katie.
[at this point, Emmy is ducking into the backseat and avoiding eye contact with either of us.]
Me: Wow, that is exciting. Even I wasn't even aware of it.

You must know I'm about to give you the next obvious conversation - between Emmy and myself on the drive home.

Me: Emmy, why did you tell Ms. J that?
Emmy: Because I thought it would be a funny story to tell.
Me: Did you know that was like lying.
Emmy: No. It's just a funny story.
Me: It's only a funny story if you say 'just kidding' at the end so they know your not telling the truth.

While this was an awkward situation for everyone (I'm obviously not doing well on this diet thing if I look far enough along to know the gender of my unborn fetus) I realized this evening that I taught Emmy that she can say pretty much anything, stick a "JK" at the end of it, and get away with it.

Super-parent moment.

Glean what you will.

Oh, I'm not pregnant.

Almost There

2009-03-24T07:14:00.003-06:00

We're so close to the end of this contest, I can taste it (no pun intended, unless the pun tastes like chocolate).

I gave my contesters a few ideas on how to get that last little bit off before the next weigh-in (this upcoming Monday, the 30th). Besides the obvious ones like
1) subsist on 300 calories a day or
2) jog in place when your in line at the grocery store or at work checking your email,

here were some of my [other] ideas:

Shave. Everything.
Better yet, wax (the microscopic hairs underneathe the skin may count for something).
Clean out your ears.
Remove all jewelry, make-up, polish, etc.
Showering will do some of this, just make sure you're adequately dry.
Blow your nose.
Go get your hair cut this week.
Trim your nails, especially those toes. Eck.
Brush your teeth (studies show plaque weighs more than fat and muscle combined - not really, I have no idea).
Get nakey (I know, TMI!)

I figure all those things may add up to half an ounce and then the scales may tip in their favor. Contrary to popular belief, I'd love it if everyone won their money back (unless, of course, I was the sole winner...$1720!!!).

Also, if you've ever had to have a colonoscopy, you know the preparation for that usually makes you lose 1-3 pounds because you have to clean out your entire system. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Please feel free to comment and give them any more of your ideas. I'm sure they'd be appreciated by me, er, I mean them.

I still have one pound until my license is accurate (awkward)
not to mention the other 2.5% to make my goal. Gah!

Next contest [tentative] date: July 31st (post vacation & pre-holiday)

redbox

2009-03-23T09:52:00.004-06:00

If you don't know what REDBOX is, you live in a sad state of Blockbuster or Hollywood Video. Or maybe in a neighboring state of Netflix (which isn't as sad, but still sorta sad).

Anyway, we've enjoyed our local redboxes for a number of years now. But it seems that a lot of others are enjoying it as well. I can't tell you how much pressure I feel as I search through the lame-o titles looking for Australia or the new James Bond flick and end up coming home with the knock-off version of Kung-fu Panda called Skunk-fu because I feel so rushed and make a hasty decision! I might as well be at the bank withdrawing $1000 while 17 on-lookers judge my choice of pin numbers.

So, I ask you, please stay in your sad state of Hollywood/Blockbuster (or New Jersey) so I can feel at some peace as I look for Twilight.

Do you think Steven will watch it?

I'm doubtful.

B-Rad

2009-03-16T14:47:00.000-06:00

Bradley's birthday was a [few] week[s] ago.

I'm a good mom, I'm just not good at timely postings.

In fact, it just so happens that is birthday was on TAKS day. Let me quickly explain to you what TAKS is. TAKS is the state's standardized tests. It's a day where the school turns into a nazi camp. Don't believe me? Here are some of the rules:

no parents/volunteers allowed on campus
students are only allowed to read after they've completed their test (even if they're done by 10am) - no drawing, coloring, writing, sleeping....
teachers aren't allowed to sit - not kidding
students eat in their classroom (to avoid hallway noise and/or cafeteria chatter)
students aren't allowed to go to specials classes (PE, Art, Music) to avoid excess noise in the hallways
absolutely no recess (they tried whisper recess last year unsuccessfully - not kidding, again)
students are escorted to and from the restrooms
federal prison guards roam the halls freely

Okay, so maybe that last one is made up. But seriously, it gets a little crazy strict. The thing is, students aren't tested until the 3rd grade. This makes the school day ultimately pointless for all the un-tested students. Let's just say lots of movies get watched that day.

Not that I need an excuse to let my son stay home (ya, we're back to Bradley now) but there was no way I was making him go to school on his birthday when all these rules were being implemented. That would just be lame.

So we went bowling instead. Way cool. Way not lame. Right?

Actually we had a blast. Bradley killed me in the first game. The wii evidently has taught him a little somethin'.

Hikers R Us

2009-03-14T14:36:00.000-06:00

Steven's on this new kick.

I don't even know what that saying means,

but every weekend he's been taking the kids (and sometimes me - if I'm not elsewhere) hiking somewhere within an hour's drive. I thought I'd share some pics because they're 1) starting to add up and 2) the family's getting mad that I'm blogging about non-family stuffs.

These first three are from a some place in G*town.

The raging waterfall behind them was overwhelming.

Olivia playing catch-up.

My cutestest family.

Olivia's going to get beat up looking like that.

I take it back. They're all going to get beat up.

Smoking = Stupid

2009-03-12T11:30:00.004-06:00

I've always told my kids that people who smoke are stupid. And we're not even allowed to use that word in our house, so you know I'm being serious when I say people who smoke are s-t-u-p-i-d.

Now, when we (my children and I) approach smokers, I remind them not to point or stare and say, "Look at Stupid, Mama!", because, well, that just wouldn't be nice.

So for those of you who smoke (especially those of you who started smoking in the last 25 years), the cat's now out of the bag. I've been teaching my children that you're stupid. The only reason I use this term is they know what stupid means by the age of 2. I can't very well tell my 2-year old child that "people who smoke have low moral character because they give into peer pressure, don't care about their bodies or their families' bodies, can't kick an addiction even though there's lots of help out there, etc." They just don't get it. At least not until they're older.

Though I'm sure I've offended some of you by this, now I'll get to my question. What do I do when my child finds out our president smokes? I mean, with Bush, we were at least able to slowly - but surely - realize his faults, but my 7-year old wants to know why our leader would give into peer pressure.

What do you think?

or are you busy lighting up?

Fortun[at]e Turtle

2009-03-05T17:07:00.005-06:00

I found a turtle today.

In a parking lot.

Does that mean something? Would it mean something if I was Chinese? I mean, does it mean something for my future? Because I don't know about you, but my fortune cookies are always dead on.

It was big - as turtles go. The shell's circumference was the size of a dinner plate. Okay, actually it's really crazy to find a turtle that big in a parking lot (no where near water - might I add). I was driving away when I saw it. Luckily, I didn't hit it. Because the parking lot was of Emmy's preschool, I picked it up (salmonella and all) and took it to a nearby teacher so she could show it off to all the kiddos.

Weird?

Weird.

Lent

2009-03-02T09:16:00.003-06:00

I meant to write about this last week, but I was busy giving up vices.

In all seriousness, while I'm LDS and we don't really practice lent, I have been since one of my good friends introduced me to the idea when I was 18. He was catholic and would give up alcohol every year for 40 days. While this was quite a feat for him, as a mormon, I always thought he was crazy to go back to it on Easter.

Typically lent is a time for fasting, prayer and other acts of penance for forty days. The three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigor during Lent are prayer (showing a love towards God), fasting (showing a love towards self), and almsgiving (showing a love towards neighbor).

Today, many people give up a specific vice of theirs, and try to add something that will bring them closer to God, then they'll [try to] give the time or money spent doing that to charitable purposes or organizations.

I am even more simplified than that. I just give something up for the forty-day time period. (You'd think the beginning of the contest would have been me giving up happiness for forty days - but alas, happiness is not a vice in my mind.)

While I still give a double take at the lady behind me in the supermarket sporting the ash cross on her forehead, I am reminded of that certain vice I'm giving up that season. But I wonder if I'm alone in my community of [mostly LDS] readers. As a religion, we fast and pray once a month, so maybe you don't find it necessary or worth while. So I ask you:

Ever thought about participating?
(Please don't indicate as to what you give up. I already judge you.)

The McMonkeys

Happy 4th!

Gaston

Suprise!

Excuse Me While I Discipline Your Child

Baby Claire

Once Again... if you want

Star of the Week

The Return of Super Saturday

Oh, Mama!

Crazy Eyes

Sid the Science Kid

Brace Yourself

First Day Photos

Jalapenos Be GROWIN'!

Bug Bites

Left Out

Beloved Duties

Neighborhood Bully

Tweet

North Carolina

Mother's Day Irony

Bradley's Bite

Bradley's Baptism

Been Occupied.

Oh the Weather...

What to Do?

Some Valentine's Advice

Get This

Wanna Keep Up?

Happy FAT TUESDAY!

Holy GIANT POT, Batman!

Unoffical Count

Reduce, Reuse, ReOxygenate

Lounging with a Twist

Once Again

Piano Recital

Drip Drip Drop

Not Close Enough for Comfort

Dream Mediocrity

Cynthia T. Rickelson

Pumpkin Carving

A House Warming Gift

Halloween Catch Up

I have INTERNET!

Squatters

Two Turtle Loves

School Photog Day

Olivia's Two

"For the First Time...

Sleeping Sisters

Indoor Soccer

Super Glue

Move Over

Brrr

Grace-less

A Thirst Quenched

Rock Camp

Twinners

Cha-Ching

RM

First Day a School

Saturday Fun

A Toast

Homebound

You Look Like You Could Use It

Spoiler Alert

Dirty Laundry

You Non-Contributing Zero

Unecessary Explanation

Am I Invited or Inviting?

It's Been Real...Weird

Cheer Camp

It's Beginning

Texas Baseball

Ultimate Nursery

Angela's Local Event

Pre-K Graduation

San Diego

You Will Find a Little Nest...