Get This

I went to the gym today and instead of getting on the treadmill, like I always do, I decide to go to a class called Strike (basically it's kickboxing). All's going just fine until I see the camera guy.

Are you kidding me, people? At the gym?

Now I mean full-on camera guy. He was holding a big 'ol thing like the one above. SO WEIRD!

There's like 3 times in your life when cameras should not be allowed.

1. Birth. That's just gross.
2. After the birth. Still lookin' gross.

and 3. Any sort of aerobics class
where you have to be semi-coordinated,
without make-up or hair,
in your grubbies,
red-splotched and sweaty.

I'm sure there's more, but those are the times when I wouldn't want them there. Now I don't have any idea why he was there. I pray to the good Lord that I won't be in some crappy workout video someday. Maybe the instructor was making a resume booster?

Here's the really bad part, the camera guy looked as if he thought he should be holding paddles and rubbing them together so they'd be primed when one of us collapsed with a coronary.

The good part: my friend going out of her way to find me to let me know Emmy wasn't feeling well at school. I was only in class for like 20 minutes instead of 60. Phew. Thanks again, Stace!

Wanna Keep Up?

Instead of placing the contest in the side bar, I've started a new blog called:

Losing 10%

found here

This will allow you a better view of our intense competition. Remember there's still time to join. If everyone that told me they were interested actually pays by the deadline, the pot will be at a whopping $3100!

Right now it's at $2600 - still larger than we've ever had.

So call up your overweight, but much lazier friends and family (after all you don't want them to actually take your money, right?) and let them know they have until the beginning of February.

Let's say someone takes your kids.

In a good way. I mean, they take them off your (and your spouse's) hands for a few days so you can go relax together.

Where do you go?
What do you do?
What's your dream getaway?

Oh ya, you have 4 days 3 nights.

Happy FAT TUESDAY!

For those of you in the contest...

Happy FAT TUESDAY!

If you were all nearby, I'd throw a party for all of you! But since you're from all over the country, I'm wishing you the best on your last day of happy indulgence.

My 50th contestant emailed me this morning.
...$2500!

Holy GIANT POT, Batman!

No, not that pot!

You guys all rock! This is [still unofficially] the biggest pot we've ever had. If everyone that has contacted me is actually participating (because I still have yet to receive money from all of you), we stand at almost

$2200!

I was looking at some old statistics from contests past and I noticed that when couples participate they either both make their goal or neither meet the 10%.

Just sayin'.

If you have a spouse that you think could use it, it could be very beneficial to you both. Otherwise, go find yourself a good friend, that lives close by, that can be your support system. While it's fun to think you might be the only one who makes your goal, MY GOAL is to have everyone earn their money back.

Woo hoo!
Here's to losing some chunk.

Unoffical Count

Just to keep you updated... the count is unofficially at:

32 CONTESTANTS

= $1600.00

You want in?
It starts on Monday, Jan 11th.
I need the money before you weigh in.

Reduce, Reuse, ReOxygenate

Bradley's been learning about recycling and other nuances of enviromental issues. The other night he came downstairs just after bedtime and told us he couldn't sleep because he was worried.

Bradley: Mom I can't sleep.
Me: Why? Have you been having nightmares?
Bradley: No. I'm worried about deforestation. (EXACT QUOTE)

I did not realize he even knew this word let alone the meaning of it.

Me: Why are you worried about it?
Bradley (with a trembling voice): I'm afraid that if all the trees get cut down we won't have any oxygen left and we'll all suffocate.

There was some explaining done and promises made; like we'll cut back on our use of plastics and paper and begin investing in oxygen tanks if he'll go back to bed.

What would you tell your 7-year old?

Lounging with a Twist

I caught my children watching television like this.

Don't believe me?

Once Again

I wasn't going to do it.

No one had mentioned it until today.

I thought I had killed you all off.

But I now know I still have some takers.

Who wants in the contest?

Piano Recital

The piano recital was a hit. I'm surprised we crammed so many people into our living room and up the stairs. We never did a head count, but I'm pretty sure there was over 60 people in attendance. There are two more rows not seen.

Growing up, my piano teacher never played at the end of our recitals. I was unaware of the normal tradition until our last recital it was requested of me to play. This time I was prepared until Steven told the students that they could hover around me since I'm always hovering over their shoulders.


Even as I made the program, I didn't realize how many students I have. I'm blessed to have such wonderful people come into my home every week.

Kind of makes me choke up when I see all of them.

L to R: Jen D*, Diana N*, Michelle H*, Spencer H*, Sadey N*, Jesse N*, Mairzey N*, Ben M*, Nikka D*, Luke D*, Brody N*, Joseph D*, Bradley M*, Steven M*, Ethan S*, Emily S*, Madison H*, Madelyn N*, Lupita B*, Emma C*, Alison T* (not pictured: Emmy M* - who had retired upstairs to her room and fallen asleep in her dress).

Drip Drip Drop

About six months ago there was a rumor that LDS church officials were going to implement an elbow bump greeting rather than a traditional handshake to aid in the hindrance of disease spreading.

Really? The elbow bump? I can only imagine the elderly doing this. Luckily it was only a rumor.

Again, REALLY? If we think handshaking is a problem, we need to look elsewhere. Like many other churches, the Sacrament is offered to us every week. And I believe we've come a long way from sharing a communal cup...

until Olivia started partaking.

Now, my kids are relatively healthy, but that doesn't keep me from being super grossed out when she insists on discarding her cup. The problem is that there is always a drop (or 3) left in the cup and when she puts the cup back, it always manages to tip and pour into another cup along the way.

All I can say is "ew" (not to mention my apologies to whoever sat behind us).

Don't worry, I now discard her cups for her. I just don't know about the snot-nosed kid two rows up from me.

When your ward has chronic swine flu, you'll know why.

Not Close Enough for Comfort

Here's the deal, putting lights on a two-story house is really, uh, high.


Anybody need a half dozen boxes of icicle lights?

Does anyone else feel dizzy?

Dream Mediocrity

I realized the other day that [perhaps like many of you] it would fulfill a dream of mine to sing on stage.

But only as back-up vocals.

Whaaat?


What is wrong with me? It's like dreaming of being sous-chef, vice president or winning the silver medal. I don't know if it's because I like singing harmony or if I don't like the pressure of being center of attention. Either way, apparently it's not my dream to "reach for the stars."

So go on America, teach your kids to reach for the...clouds.

Okay, maybe a satellite. But NOT the stars; way too high.

Cynthia T. Rickelson

We live in, what I like to call, the Bedazzled Buckle of the bible belt. That being said, when you don't have a cross around your neck or tattooed to your ankle or on the back of your jean jacket in rhinestones, people start to question if you really believe in Jesus Christ.

The other day, my neighbor informed me that if you work for the school (any government owned school for that matter) you weren't allowed to wear any religious paraphernalia. I thought of Bradley's teacher and her ginormous chain of about a dozen crosses that she wore every once in a while.

I said, "I think that's why we [LDS] stuck with the CTR ring."

She responded, "you can't even wear that."

I nicely argued that for all she knows CTR (commonly known to stand for: Choose The Right) has nothing to do with Christianity. It could be a crazy right-winged republican ring, or maybe it's reminder because I forget which hand I'm supposed to use when I draw, or it's my deceased grandmother's initials and green was her favorite color!

What do you think?

Is a CTR ring appropriate?

Pumpkin Carving

The 3rd Annual Contest took place a few weeks ago. But because we were moving and the what-nots of excuses, I didn't get around to posting pics.

But before you get all mad/relieved that you didn't get invited. We have very strict rules: we have to like you.

Just kidding! You have to live in our neighborhood (either SO or MR).

John & Hayden S* (We missed you Tiffany & Hudson!)

Brian showed Baby Megan how to carve this one by herself.
I'm sure Kevin & Heather S* were somewhere close by.

Danielle, Joe, Izzy & Madison H*
holding their well-deserved prizes...

The H* Family and their pumpkin that Jarom poured over making us end the night around 2 am (also pictured, Kristy, Cole, Shayla, Cooper & Brynn).

Crystal & TJ J* used this as their candy jar.

Showing off my great photography skills with Bryan, Nicole & Tyson V E*.
It's really not blury, it's a soft lense.

The C* Family: Keith, Loriann, Avery & Addy
Avery's the violent one that stabbed the poor pirate's head.


Mr McMonkey & myself with Olivia, Bradley and
Emmy - our daughter who auditioned for The Ring

My one action shot. Is that kid being accosted?

Can I just point out the winners?
The mummy (front right) won Scariest.
The Trick or Treat (front left) won Most Creative. (see picture below)
The JACK (middle right) "won" Most Pathetic.

Can you see the "TREAT" reflected on the back wall?

It was oooooober fun. And there was lots of food, lots of costumes & lots of boxes of stuff (as we were moving a week later). We'll see what next year brings.

A House Warming Gift

...that made my day.

Thanks, Shel!

Halloween Catch Up

Since I was without you for a few weeks, you didn't get to see my monkeys in their 'stumes.

I forewarning:
they are NOT emotionally abused.

Bradley was The Count. "Mwah ah ah!"

And, my 5-year old, Emmy,
who should want to be a princess/ballerina/fairy/angel
has, instead, chosen a different route.

If you just peed your pants, don't worry.
It's a very normal reaction.
She was playing the role well and refused to smile for the camera saying, "Zombies don't smile, Mama!"

Ahh,Olivia. The one I still have at least minimal control over.

Except that it started itching her like crazy and she ended up in...

Was it Lincoln that said, "Whatever you are, be a good one."?
Well, my kids would have made him proud.

I have INTERNET!

Holy cow! It’s not like I feel I rely heavily on the internet, it’s more like I couldn’t breathe and my heart stopped for the few days without it.

In all honesty, it was nice knowing no one could call, that I had no obligation to answer emails, that my life continued on (and is, in fact, more productive) without phone and email.

Television on the other hand…

Can someone update me on SYTYCD and PR (and if you don’t know what those stand for, you’re not worthy of updating me)? And more importantly, when can I come over because we’ve decided to [dramatic pause] NOT get cable/dish [GASP!].

Don't freak out.
It's not like I'm going to start homeschooling and put Liv in cloth diapers.
We're just experimenting. I'll just buy the Glee soundtrack this month.

Have you ever gone w/o TV?

Squatters

While this sounds like an appropriate new nickname for me and my new friends Chin 2 and the Love Handles, it’s what Steven and I called ourselves for an entire week.

For seven days we lived in an un-resided-in home. The owners had moved and were in the process of selling it (to us) but closing had yet to occur.

And we lived there.

For a week.

I feel like I can truly relate to homeless people everywhere. I know how hard it is to not call something your own – even though we still had occupation options for our rental house and we were pretty sure closing was going to go fairly smoothly, not to mention we have plenty of food and clothing – but don’t you think I am more whole now and have a certain sense of kinship with transients everywhere ‘cause it’s pretty much the exact same circumstances?

Ya, me too.

Pictures to be posted soon.

Two Turtle Loves

Wanna hear the cutest story ever? ... Mkay, I'm gonna tell you anyway.

I was coming home from my friend Nicole's house and I nearly ran over a turtle.

That's not the cute part, duh.

Let me first say that about a block from our house is a giant pond. I knew this turtle had strayed a little too far from home. While this is the second time I've almost hit a turtle, we thought we better bring him home. We tried to give him a bath in our backyard with the hose and our ghetto/yellow/plastic swimming pool with every intention of taking it back the next day. This thing had so much moss on its shell, we named it Hairry Potter (from here on out, it's now a boy for convenience's sake). Also, now that it was named, it was destined to stay with us forever, ... or at least the weekend.

Anyhoo, he liked to hide amidst our overgrown trim. Occasionally, it was hard to find him. A few days later Steven was out back grilling when Emmy complained that she couldn't find Hairry. Steven jokingly said, "maybe if you whistle, he'll come to you."

Some lady, just on the other side of our fence heard Steven's comment. She yelled through the fence, "are you guys looking for a turtle?"

This surprised us. We didn't think there was any way through the fence and we didn't think he'd be able to dig his way out because he was an aquatic turtle. Even so, Steven went out the gate and grabbed the turtle that this lady and her barely-restrained dog had found.

Funny thing, it wasn't Hairry.

This turtle was bigger.

Steven went back to where this new turtle had been found (just outside our backyard) and looked directly on the other side of our fence (in our backyard) to make sure he had, in fact, not crawled underneath the fence. Low and behold, there was Hairry hiding in our overgrown grass.

Our little turtle lovers had found each other and just didn't know how to reach each other through the fence.

[a collective "aaawww" from the crowd is now appropriate]

Meet Marge (L) and Hairry (R)


Emmy wanted in this next picture,
though she's only holding a lowly frog.
L to R: Emmy (w/ prince charming), Jason B* (holding Marge), Bradly (w/ Hairry), Zed B* ('cause he couldn't get enough of the turtles).

They were so far (relatively) away from their home. Had to be miles (or something) in human steps.

Olivia with her new playmates.