Monday, June 13, 2011

Excuse Me While I Discipline Your Child

I was at the park recently when this "adorable" little monster was terrorizing other kids. Let's call him Henry ('cause that's what his mom calls him and I don't feel like protecting the privacy of lunatics). Picture this character as you read. Cynicism brings out the blogger in me.

My repressed thoughts will be in italics for your enjoyment.

Me: Ma'am, your son just punched my child. I will hit him if he does it again. Then I will hit you.
Henry's Dumb Mom: Boys will be boys (with that really stupid grin on her face).

5 minutes later...

Me: Your son is spitting on my daughter and her friends. I'm going to kneel on his chest, reach into his mouth and rip out his salivary glands all while you watch.
Henry's Dumb Mom: Oh, that's just his way of sharing (head tilted watching Henry with unconditional love).

3 minutes later...

Me: Your (obnoxious) child is hitting that adult. You really ought to do something.
Henry's Dumb Mother: (To me:) We don't like to say, "NO" to our son. Of course you don't. (To Henry:) Henry, honey. Stop, please. Should we go to the car? I'm going to count to three. Do you want to go into time out? Really let's stop. One... Two... We'll have to go home. I don't think that nice man likes that. Do you need to sit in the naughty chair? I'll give you a big hug if you can obey me. Show mommy how a big boy listens. One... Two.... Henry, be a good boy. Ooopsies, let's not throw rocks at him. One... Two... Do you want me to tell Daddy? I'm not going to let you have a treat when we get home.


I have this vision of their future Christmas Card. I can't wait.

Have you ever wanted to deck another parent?
...for becoming a parent? 


Another Bird Dropping said...

Being in public education and dealing with WAY too many parents like this makes my teeth are right on.

Brekke said...

You should really have to pass a test to become a parent!

The Jen said...

Well working in post partum I'd have to say...EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!That story is unbelievable though. I am thoroughly impressed with your restraint in not decking the kid (and his mom :)

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