Thursday, October 23, 2008


Okay, so maybe that's not a word.


We have rules at our house; rules about hitting (or not), rules about playing on the furniture (or not), rules about what television shows we can watch (or not - I'll stop doing that), rules about what words we can use, rules about where we sleep (long story for a later blog)....your getting the idea.

We also have rules about eating.

The rule is: at dinner you have to try it. However, if you want something else to eat (yes, I'm willing to allow that) you have to eat as many bites as you are old (ie: Bradley has to eat 6 bites if he want PB&J instead).

I know it sounds complicated, but my kids get it.

Now let me clarify something; to try it simply means: stick it in your mouth, chew for a second, and, if necessary, spit it out. You don't even have to swallow it! But before you get another meal (whether today or tomorrow), you HAVE TO TRY IT.

So, about once a month Emmy decides she's unwilling to try it. This means she goes to bed without food (I'm not a force feeder - though I may fantasize kneeling on her chest to get a piece of chicken -- really good chicken might I add -- past her clenched teeth).

Emmy can't go too long without food or else she gets nauseated. I'm not sure if the bile in her stomach builds up or what, but by 10 am the following morning, she's kneeling next to the throne.

Before you call CPS, I need to declare that I'm a fan of Love & Logic. What am I doing wrong here? I feel like I'm borderline abusing my child as she misses school because she refuses to eat for 18 hours.

I don't dare talk to my mom about this. I can't bear hearing, "What goes around...." or "The apple sure doesn't fall far". (Though out of my mom's mouth it would sound more like "Don't count the apples falling when you bark up the wrong tree." She struggles with cliche's. Love you, Marmee.)

Once I'm guilt ridden and Emmy's too weak to stand or hold up a cup of water, I cave and give her crackers and some gatorade.


Really, am I being too demanding, too expectant of my 4 year old?

Is everyone else's child insistent on chicken nuggets, pizza and peanut butter sandwiches?

Now do you see the need for stubbornessest, Webster?


Jessi said...

My oldest daughter would rather go hungry than eat something that she does not like. And sometimes she does go hungry. But I don't have the patience to fight her for more than the evening. By the next morning I give in and she happily eats cereal. (And usually eats enough to compensate for whatever calories she missed the night before). I'm a total softie. :)

Emma said...

My boys will eat just about anything. David has been complaining a bit lately, but I can always get him to try it, and usually he likes it. My kids are stubborn in other ways I guess. But they like food too much - just like mama.

John said...

I don't know if I should tell you this but maybe it will make you feel differently.

After you cave following an episode, Emmy calls us and says "John? Guess what? (what?) I won again! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah"

I tell her congradulations because I don't know what else to say. If I was raising her she would pleasantly try everything. I don't know what your problem is.

John said...

Try a different punishment. Make her skip that meal and then let her eat what she would normally eat the next meal. But if she won't try it then, no t.v, can't go outside, no whatever.

There is something she likes to do. If you make the punishment something different then her health isn't affected and eventually you will find the right thing that will make her understand.

Or you could beat her. Thats what I do with my child.

Randy said...

We've been there as well. Juliene was all over it, we even had the Autism specialist from school help us. They did something with a food journal. I think the kids tried the food so they could write down whether they liked it or not. You'd have to talk with Juliene to get the details though.
My kids are now eating better - mostly.
I did learn that with my kids, they'll go hungry for a LONG time before eating something they don't want.

Shane, Megan, & Carter said...

I am pretty sure that is a least I can understand what it means thanks to my constantly more and more defiant toddler! I'll be honest, I used to laugh at people that used love and logic...but now I am thinking there is more merit to it than I was willing to previously admit. I actually told Shane about two days ago that I think I might need to check it out before I go insane...

Melissa said...

I feel your pain. I have a stubborn eater too. I require my kids to eat one bite of whatever we are having and if they don't eat that meal then they have to wait until the next to eat. My picky eater usually goes without dinner and eats a ton for breakfast too. Good luck that's a tough one!

Jodie Haney said...

We have almost the same rules in our house. Call CPS on me...I dare ya.

Charlee said...

This is way to good! My kids pull the samething. All of them eat pretty good but it is always a battle with Katelee. And I'm sad to say 90% of the time I cave. Good Luck! Miss you guys.

Julianne said...

We do something similar, I need to go hard core like you!

Audrey said...

You are nice. At our house mom only makes one meal. If you don't like it, too bad. Of course we have things like bread, fruit, and veggies with each meal so they can find something they like. But if they don't eat then they don't get a snack for snack and scripture.

Good luck, AJ has just become a picky eater, so we are going through the same thing. Let us know how it goes.

Haueter Photography said...

Totally love to read your blog. I was just talking about you the other day with one of my neighbors that is really good friends with Brian and his wife. She was saying that Brian was speaking very highly of you and I couldn't have agreed more. Hope all is well with you guys. We miss you.

emmib said...

Hey Mindy, Remember me from Houston? Random question about your (very old) stinky sink post...what was the cure? I'm having the same problem. HELP!!! I just found you on facebook so you can reply to me there. Thanks!

BenJenKids said...

My Mom used to have to feed me my breakfast while I was pinned on the floor screaming. I still am not a big fan of breakfast. Maybe that's why I drink a Slim-Fast every morning!!

On another note, we made our blog by invite only. Here in UT they did a big story on the news about the safety issue, so we went private. Send me your email so I can invite you. Thanks!!

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