Friday, August 31, 2007

Driver's License vs Mug Shot

Yesterday I became a Texan.

I know I've been living here for about 3 1/2 years, but because of our student status, I never bothered getting our plates changed from California (probably out of pride) or our driver's licenses changed from Utah (probably out of laziness).

It looks like we'll be hangin' out here for a little while longer so about a month ago we changed our plates and yesterday we went in to get our licenses.

Why is it when I take a picture for my license I feel like I might as well be getting a mug shot because that's about how good it's going to turn out? I only have a temporary right now, but I get the feeling that in 10-14 days when it arrives in the mail, I'll see the picture and it's likely to look like this guy's.

Then when I write out a check (luckily, thanks to electronics ans plastic that only happens about twice a year), I'll get a second take from the punk 17-year old who's chomping her bubbalicous. Luckily she won't care enough to ask for a second form of ID, which leaves me with my only other option: my old Sam's Club membership card. Too bad that photo looks like this:
Only worse because they've taken the file and made it fit in a square setting so my face is disproportianately wide and I look like I weigh an extra 100 lbs.

Do you think the DMV will ever consider hiring people like Deb from Napoleon Dynamite to take my close-up? Instead of the nasally request to "Stand on the line and look here," I'd get "turn you head on more of a slant ... Now, make a fist. Slowly ease it up underneath your chin. This is looking really good."
Then Kip would magically appear and say, "You can say that again. "
Then Deb would say, "Kay, hold still right there. Now, just imagine you're weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses. "
Click.
"That was one. I think it's gonna come out really nice."

But would that mean I'd look like this?
Wow. Can you say 'tangent'?

5 comments:

Emma said...

definitely, tangent.

Ashley said...

Oh, Mindy! You are so funny!

John said...

Tangent.

Texas, our Texas, all hail our mighty state. Texas, our Texas, so wonderful so great. . .

Congratulations on becoming a member of one of the best and brightest. I am surprise they let you in.

Tara said...

You've made me want to watch Napoleon Dynamite again. Maybe I will tonight.

Jessi said...

Let's start a "Glamour Shots by Deb at the DMV" campaign!!! It would totally improve the experience.

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