Monday, October 01, 2007

Realities of Death

My brother is a mortician.

It's a little weird sometimes, but being in this line of work has given Scott chances to own some pretty good stories (kind of like a metropolitan ER doc or, I don't know, a pimp) - and when Scott has a good story, it means Scott has a funny story. I digress.

Our friend, Joe, died today.
Joe was our pet fish. We've had him for a mere few months, but it seems like our relationship has really taken off and we were becoming pretty good friends.

Okay, not really. We just needed a quick disposal of the corpse - and where else but a toilet.

We began explaining to Bradley that fishes get buried in the ocean, not the ground (you know, if you live in water, you should be buried under water). We were using the whole Finding Nemo movie as a tool, telling him that the other fishes in the ocean would bury him once he arrived there. We were really just trying to rationalize our flushing Joe down the toilet.

I started telling him what my brother does for a living - specifically that Uncle Scott buries people after they die. What's the next obvious question a 5-year old should ask?

Bradley stopped and turned to look at us,

"How does he fit them down the toilet?"


MIL said...

Each time I walk through our bathroom I will have a new picture of what goes down the toilet..... no wonder toilets get plugged :>)

The Jones Family said...

poor kid, he's gonna have nightmares! lol, too cute.

Emma said...

that's great!

Jodie Haney said...

Well, it does beg the question....Bradley is a smart little booger!

Brian said...

Why don't you just tell him, "Uncle Scott puts them in head-first, then grabs their legs and twists them counter-clockwise while pushing until they disappear."

That should keep him busy until he asks about how babies are made.

I have no idea what you should tell him then. No idea at all...

Angela said...

That's awesome!

Vanderbeeks said...

oh boy! You've got to love kids!

I Want to Hear From You!